Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in brett's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, August 22nd, 2006
9:26 pm	Oy vey. I think I might have depresson or something. Just lovely. No, I've not been diagnosed. However, I've lost interest in any sort of non-physical activity other than studying and looking up facts. It's like I've become some sort of workaholic mentally, and I find that I cannot be truly happy no matter what I do. I has been going on for a while. I was thinking the other day of how there is little hope in the world, and this might have a lot to do with spending a lot of time keeping up with current events in the news when I'm not at work or involved with college stuff. I just bought From Russia With Love for the PS2, and I have very little drive to play it right now. Instead I'm posting here. I guess I'm looking for advice, which could roughly translate to attention-whoring if you want to look at it really negatively. If you read this and have some input, even if it's belittling and seething, I want to hear (read?) it. Current Mood: I dunno... (1 Comment |Leave a comment)
Monday, July 17th, 2006
2:30 am	Lasy weekend. Could've gotten a lot done, but didn't. My sister has to use my car. Her car has a flat. Nice, nice. It'll have to be fixed tonight. And I have to help her. Crash course in tire replacement. Interesting. Next two days will be busy ones for sure. I have to get a bunch of coursework done for Tuesday that I would've had done yesterday. Soulseek rocks, btw. Current Mood: lazy (Leave a comment)
Saturday, July 8th, 2006
10:46 pm	Time to get happy. *jumps* Been depressed. Time to break out. (Leave a comment)
Tuesday, July 4th, 2006
8:49 pm	Be sweeter than your girlfriend Peter Been a while. My old cable connection died out on me about five months ago, leaving me without internet access for a good five months. In spite of not being active due to college and other responsabiliitys even before that, I found myself longing for this communication medium which is the Internet; part if that whole love/hate thing I have going on with it. But I'm back and enjoying it. I watched Hostel the other day. It was a lot better than I had thought; the story was good (A little too much like a softcore porn movie but nothing I couldn't deal with) and the gore provided enough punch. I seemed more like an action/adventure with a lot of gore than a "scary movie". On the topic of movies, the whole remake/sequals/lack of originality of Hollywood as of late has bothered me enough to the point that I'm really starting to enjoy Independant Film genre. Personal Life: I'm only taking one class this semester (Intro to Web Systems) and working, so I've not been too stressed with life as I have been. However, when I look at my environment I get a bit angsty as I think that things could be better. Most of these things that bother me are generally out of my control, so maybe I should take things a bit more easier. I drank a little too much last night, and thus have been feeling like shit all day. Hangovers suck. There's so much more I'd like to say, but I'm pressed for time at the moment. I gotta do something with the family. I'm doing pretty good, all things considered. Things could be a lot worse, believe me. (1 Comment |Leave a comment)
Sunday, July 2nd, 2006
12:58 am	After about a year of sporadic internet access, I'm actually making a post here. =) How's life for you guys? (2 Comments |Leave a comment)
Wednesday, May 24th, 2006
9:16 pm	I've had a thought about 10 minites ago, and I think it's one worth holding on to. I spend so much time looking at so many things in such a negative light, that I've forgotten the fact that it doesn't take working for the fruits of future successes to make enjoying life possible. The ability is with me right now, but I take it for granted through my normal habit of looking down on everything and having nothing but negative feelings for it all. Like... a bunch of bottled up hatred. Beh. I'm going to take some deep breaths and think on this a bit more. (Leave a comment)
Tuesday, February 14th, 2006
4:17 pm	Uh. Yell and scream shy little man your time is ahead and I will be there laughing Now to get ready for class. Current Mood: cynical (Leave a comment)
Friday, February 10th, 2006
9:24 pm	I've changed in many ways my in outlook on people, and I suspect one has been fairly constant throughout the course of the last five years: More, and more, I cannot abide close-minded thought and actions. Hmm, maybe another word is in order. Ehh.. wakarimasen. That's it. I can tolerate and get on with people who have a fixed mindset on things, even if it takes anywhere from a little to a significant amount of effort to do that, depending on just what it is that they can't/won't tolerate in others. Like clothing. If one deviates from the norm in clothing, I feel that they bring it on themselves whatever malice happens to them. There is a social code that is to be followed, and deviating carries consequences whether one like that or no. There was a time when I despised the way it (from my point of view back then) limited total freedom. Growing up and using logic for once, I've come to understand it more, even though I still can't put that process to words. Still. Cannot. Put. Words. To. It. GAH! I guess I could put it this way: In spite of my growing intolerance to casual closed-mindedness, I've grown more tolerant to the way society handles things. A case of social conditioning conflicting while contrasting with personal viewpoints of the world and people in general. It feels almost contradictory, in a sense. My sister is one of the most closed-minded, childish people I know, and she dismisses any who's act's a little different, even if it's completely legal. If I didn't turn a blind eye to it most of the time, I'd be ball of nerves at this point. That's an extreme case. (Leave a comment)
Saturday, January 21st, 2006
9:20 pm	Something I found whilst brownsing different LJs. ( Article. Opinions below. ) It was a nice read, and I agree with a lot of this. Society does give us the idea that being social is being "normal", and that people who don't quite fit this status quo have deficiencies. If there is one thing that irks the heck out of me, it's closed-mindedness. To add to this article, I think that attitude only seeks to aggravate the problem. Not that anything can be done about it, but still. I've been too introverted these past few years, and it bugs me, as I don't have many friends anymore, on any medium. I've also generally lost interest in people in general, and this sucks. I miss my old friends, and having a lot of friends in general. (Leave a comment)
Tuesday, January 17th, 2006
9:06 pm	Things. 1. My work is going through the "OJS" (On-Job Supervision). What this means is that, in latest attempt at trying to fire someone, a supervisor (two of them, in my case. Details forthcoming.) will be waiting for me by the timeclock, and then they will be literally over my shoulder looking at all the things I might be doing wrong. Here is what really makes me upset about the whole deal: Only one supervisor was watching Ken do his work, and yet I'm going to have two watching me. Strangely, this might mean that I'm a big target for whatever they have planned. Bring it, I say! I do my job efficiently and with a good amount of skill. It's just amusing, the lengths the supervisors will go to fire good workers. I'm in a union, which comes complete with a steward, so if unethical stuff goes down that violates the union contract, I'll be set that way. 2. I'm getting along better with my family than I've been in a long time. I'm ignoring the fact that I'm still on a different wavelength than they are, and I think it's great that I can tolerate them again. Not too sure about my nephew, however. He's been getting lippy with me, and only me, lately. Maybe it's time I've showed that I'm not some giant pushover. I just need to calculate the right time to strike... I mean, yell at him. 3. The older I get, the more I love cats and get annoyed by dogs, especially bigger ones. they can create such huge messes, and cats make small ones, if any at all. Garfield (my cat, not the cartoon character) is the greatest cat in the world, personality-wise. 4. I want to go back to Southern California again. If there is one place in the world I'd rather be, it's back in Cali. I don't know how that would realistically work out though. My brother has started college, to get his degree to be an X-ray technican. His marriage is still on the rocks six months after the wedding, and will probably stay that way until can kind of divorce goes through. I yearn for that place again. It was so fun, and people were so nice there. I've heard folks say that people there are snotty; However, I've experienced better manners and more outward acceptance over there than here in Michigan. I'm going to save for that as soon as I know if it's ok to come or not. I'm looking at a mid-June trip. 5. I'm eatng better foods and lower intake since the new year started, and it shows. Everyone says that I look somewhat thinner, and I feel more energetic and motivated to do more. That's it for now. Later all. Current Music: Esthero - "Heaven Sent" (Leave a comment)
Sunday, January 8th, 2006
12:34 am	Think you guys are ready for this? Click here. Take the quiz. Post your results. ( See mrgraves's results. ) Current Mood: calm Current Music: Sisters Of Mercy - "This Corrosion" (1 Comment |Leave a comment)
Monday, January 2nd, 2006
11:33 pm	Uhm... Just finished setting up my MySpace profile, and I've already added some people I know. Boring day. Ho Hum. (1 Comment |Leave a comment)
Sunday, January 1st, 2006
10:22 pm	Resolutions Like aaronfreed, I'll try to be more open with others, assuming I don't get discouraged/depressed by the little cruelties that come with modern human communication. - To lose weight and gain more muscle mass, as well as eat healthier - To not procrastine so much. - To stand up for myself when I sense I'm being jerked around with. - To not undertake more work than I can handle. - To not worry so much about trivial things. This is a major part of my personality that I feel needs some serious work. - To be happier. If I succeed at all of the following, I think I'll be a much more happier person. I feel a real need to change myself this year, as opposed to other years. Happy 2006, everyone. :) Current Mood: hopeful Current Music: Some DRR song in the background. (Leave a comment)
Thursday, December 29th, 2005
9:40 pm	Stuff. These last two days have sure been eventful. Nothing too positive. Mostly negative stuff. Still Somewhat depressed from a lot of thoughts I've been having. I'm not going to bore you all with that however. Not this time. >:) Buncha angst anyway. First, there's yesterday... http://www.detnews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20051229/METRO/512290360/1003 This guy went on a little killing spree/suicide trip, a majority of it being at the UPS facility where I work. Pretty unsettling. It happened in the middle of the night Wednesday (3:00 AM-ish) so it was all after the fact. The way I normally go to work was blocked of by police, so I have to go around the main roads through some side streets. Not fun. Current Mood: blah Current Music: Mr. Bungle - "Stubb (A Dub)" (2 Comments |Leave a comment)
Saturday, December 24th, 2005
10:04 pm	Feeling a bit better since it's Christmas Eve, and there not much point in depression on a day like today. I'm just took my family at face value today. I hope next year is better. Here's my end-of-year survey. Hmm. ( Read more... ) (Leave a comment)
Wednesday, December 21st, 2005
11:32 pm	Well, this semester is over. Now I have no real excuse for not being in front of my computer anymore, I can expect to be using you more Journal. I'm going half-time mext semester, which is necessary if I want to maintain my sanity. Towards the end, I was... feeling my grip on what is slip away from me. Not good. I'm not looking forward to christmas this year, but this doesn't mean it'll necessary be horrible. I have a lot to say, but it's been a very busy day for me and it's late, so I think I'll just wrap it up here. Current Mood: mellow (Leave a comment)
Friday, December 16th, 2005
6:12 am	I woke up at 4:30 AM or so. I don't see the point of going back to sleep, so I don't think I will. Sometimes I wonder if sleep is just some natural inhibitor of our time. I'm stayin' up. (Leave a comment)
Thursday, December 15th, 2005
4:35 pm	Updating from the college computer lab. It's finals week. I've been stressing over it consistantly for the past week, but it looks as if it's paying off. If all goes well, I should be in a good academic standing. If I get at the very least, all Bs, then I'll be an extremely happy guy. I'll be taking another exam in about 1 1/2 hours, and I take my other final exam on Monday. I'll have the whole weekend for studying, but it'll be at my own pace. Relief... seems to be right at my fingertips now. I really should use this time for some last-minute studying, and I need coffee. I'll update further tonight. (Leave a comment)
Saturday, December 10th, 2005
8:28 pm	snagged from evilbeowulf If you have anything to say to the person who posts this, say it to them. If you love them, tell them. If you hate them, tell them. Whatever you have to say to this person, even if its something you're having trouble saying, if the person posts this entry, say it to them. You may never get a chance to, so just do it. Warning: Do not post this in your journal unless you really want people to do it. I expect good things but I expect bad things as well, and that is something you have to take into consideration. Not all of what you hear will be good. All comments will be screened, so don't worry about others seeing it. I'll post a real entry in a bit. I'm up to my ears in homework/studying, because finals week is next week. Current Music: Mr. Bungle - "Egg" (Leave a comment)
Thursday, December 1st, 2005
11:07 pm	haiku I came up with at work, over the course of five seconds. Enjoy (or not.). hanging in hanging on hungover but still pressing on I've realized I need to seize drinking those nightynight cups of coffee, as well as start going to bed earlier than usual. Maybe Midnight-ish? I've had about five hours of sleep last night, and drinking more coffee didn't exactly help me in the ways I hoped it would've. I didn't really improve my mental focus...it just made me more jittery in Japanese class tonight. I felt hyper inside...really wired. Hmm. finals are coming, and with them, stress. Phych is going to be...one test tomorrow, than another. Ditto for Networking. C++ is hands on, and open book, which is a break. Could be worse. This weekend is tons of studying. Then...no school for three weeks. Can't wait. (1 Comment |Leave a comment)